I’m giving my blog a facelift because it definitely needs one. Now I know what you’re thinking, why do you need to change the look of a blog you barely use? Although I’ve been absent I still felt the need to update some small things. First of all, I’m 20 years old now, and no longer a teenager so my slogan had to be fixed, also I felt like the balloons were a bit too…well actually they were really cute but I want to try out a new theme. My bio needed an upgrade because wow I’m definitely not a high school freshie anymore. I think that’s about it so…yeah, enjoy the new look of things.

Insecurities ?


So I haven’t updated this blog in a super long time, which is my fault alone. In the many many months since my last post, I’ve been using Youtube to make videos about my life instead of writing paragraphs. So far I’ve only shared said videos with family members but I hope to also share them with friends so that I can stay in touch with them (Is it staying in touch when the video conversations are one sided?) I haven’t really gone out of my way to share my videos around to a larger group of people because I’m … scared? What if my friends get bored of me? or What if they don’t care about my life anymore? are examples of nagging worries that have stopped me from sending my videos out to my friends and I’m going to have to get over them at some point. Until then though I’m just going to keep making videos for my two cousins and maybe an uncle or two.






What I need right now is a good kick in the butt. I have homework that I need to do, desperately so! I have tests to study for, emails to write and send, a desk that probably needs to be cleaned, nails that need to be cut, and polished………SO MUCH TO DO! so much to do and yet I cannot seem to do any of it. NOTHING!! Instead of getting sh*t done, I’m here writing this and hoping that venting my frustration at myself will be enough to get my brain in gear. In my opinion, its not even that bad that I can’t focus, or be productive. The problem is that I plan on doing something fun tonight. Tonight my college is hosting a drag show, and it sounds really interesting. I’ve been looking forward to it for a week, but now I feel like if I go, it has to be a reward for getting my stuff done. I don’t want to reward myself for nothing because that will induce guilt, but I also don’t want to miss it. AAAUUGGGH!  *anguished face*



At this moment in time, I haven’t blogged in like 487 years; I apologize. I started this blog as an online diary of sorts, and I used it as one for a while, but then I wanted to try vlogging (video blogging) to see if it was any fun, and I’ve been focusing on just that rather than both blogging and vlogging. I think the reason I’m so fixated on one and not the other is that blogging doesn’t provide any challenge. Aside with coming up with what I’m going to write about, there’s nothing else that I have to accomplish. I know that I’m a pretty good writer, and I know that I can produce quality blog posts whenever I want to (kinda). Vlogging is entirely different. Not only do I have to come up with what to say, but I have to find a reasonably quiet/private place to film, check the lighting, and film the video. Then I have to go and edit the clips, often raise the audio level, when I’m feeling creative I’ll add background music. If its not just a video of me talking, but a video of several different things I’ll probably have to add in transitions between clips….The whole vlogging process from the moment I decide to make a video to publishing it on Youtube is extremely new to me. Filming and editing are skills that I’m having a blast learning. I think this is the reason I’ve been overlooking this blog. I don’t know if this means I’ll have to work harder at uploading content to both sites, I don’t know if this means I should only focus on one (I’ll probably try to focus on both). If you want to check out my Youtube channel the link is at the bottom.

Thanks for reading,  I’m sorry that it’s been so long


I’m emotional


Today we had a member of the school’s grandfather come in to talk about his experience as a Jewish child during the Holocaust. He talked about his experience throughout his time at Aushwitz and other places where Jews were killed in Poland. He and his family survived because the Nazi officers enjoyed his father’s violin playing. He was incredibly lucky and has such an inspirational story to tell. It was a great talk but as you can guess it was extremely emotional. I’m also wearing shorts today. Now this may sound like a random fact that has nothing to do with my emotional state but just you wait. It is April 23. It should be warm, and sunny outside, the grass should be green an the flowers should be blooming, and even if there’s a slight chill in the air its okay because for the most part it’s warm…..It snowed 15 minutes ago, SNOWED!! I was in A.P English and was fine with the fact that I had to walk outside to my next class because it may be a bit cold but so what..and then I looked out the window and it was snowing and I’m telling you I was livid. Only in New England would it snow on April 23!



I’m sorry you guys, I know I need to get better at keeping up the blogging thing, its just I have so much stuff during the day and by the time I have some scrap of free time I’m exhausted and want to sleep. AHGPOAJEW FABGIRUAHEWOPFAJR I wish I could just make fun posts all day and entertain you but I can’t……blame the school system, blame the patriarchy, blame Obama!!! (don’t actually, it’s a joke on tumblr)

The long day


So yesterday as you may know, I was at the Boston aquarium, which was amazing! Boston is roughly two hours away from my school and after a day of walking all around the museum, I fell asleep in the car on the way home. This is very bad. By taking that nap, I messed up my sleep schedule and as a result I didn’t get to bed until 4:30 this morning. I of course had class at 8:00 and if I wanted breakfast beforehand, which I did, I would have had to get up before 7:30, which I did. After a long day full of classes, including two tests I had theater rehearsal from 4:00 to basically 5:50. I had a quick dinner and then went to a tech build for the play which started at 6:30 and usually goes to 9, but because we had so much to do, went till 10:30, with a tiny amount of people for moving very large, very heavy objects. By the time I cleaned everything up it was 10:40 and I had to head back to the main building for check in at 11:00pm. Now here I am, blogging to you guys. IVE BEEN AWAKE FOR 19 HOURS! And, the thing is because I had so much coffee and sugar to get me through the day, I’m not tired right now. I might stay up till 1 or 2.

At the Aquarium


Today I got to skip school and go to the Boston Aquarium. It was pretty great. The trip was a thank you from the Berkshire Museum, where I’ve been interning all year as I mentioned in a previous post. We left at 8:30 in the morning, stopped to get McDonalds, then drove down to Boston and spent the day at the aquarium going to all of the exhibits and behind the scenes to see the animals not on display. It was an amazing experience and a lot of fun but the trip also made me grateful for being off campus. My school is wonderful, I’m blessed to be in a community that values respect and kindness, everyone is usually very polite and generally nice to be around. Being off campus reminded me that in the real world, people curse and are rude and yell at you if you accidentally bump into them. Being on campus is like being in a nice bubble (or a fish tank) and being around (for lack of a better word) “real” people was refreshing. I also bought an adorable plushy at the gift shop.

Photo on 4-16-15 at 10.30 PM    I’ve named him Nathan 😀

Washing Machines and Bedtime


Its almost time for me to go to bed, usually I get into bed around 10:40 every night and read fan fiction until 11:00 or 11:30. Fan fiction is my favorite way to unwind at night, and I need it after this evening. At my boarding school there are a lot of students who all have to share a laundry room. Because they get used a lot, the machines break a lot and this happened to me for the umpteenth time. A rule exists stating that if your laundry is in the laundry room after 10:00 pm (in room time) it will automatically  be taken by housekeeping and put in the lost and found. Now I’m usually one for rules, I like when things run smoothly, but when I go to pick up my laundry at 9:30 because if I put it in the dryer at 7:00 and it should be done, and its still soaking wet because the dryer decided not to work, and I won’t have time to dry it properly before in room time, I get a bit cranky (pissed off). Long story short I have my window open, and my tiny cheap fan on, and articles of clothing hanging from every possible surface in my room including t-shirts hung up with thumbtacks in the hopes that something will be dry enough to put on my body tomorrow morning. With that lovely image, I leave you. Goodnight!